then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
