Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
