Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
