I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
