hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
