I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
