Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
