if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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