As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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