my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
