Don't you send me to vm
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
