I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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