Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
As shirtless as possible
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
