Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
