that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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