singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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