I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
