and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
