Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
