I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
