To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
