You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
