I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
