Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
