I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
