Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize