There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Found the puke drawer
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
