These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
