What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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