a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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