i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am available for nakedness
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize