if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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