this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
