Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
