North Korea, Best Korea!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
