Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
