I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
