wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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