We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize