Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
