the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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