Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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