White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
