Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
