So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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