Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
