i came on her dog
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
