everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
