how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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