This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
