What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
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