Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
