I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
