you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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