i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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