How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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