Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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