You just made me feel so damn special
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
