hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
