Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
