id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
