Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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