Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
