Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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