Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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