Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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